Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
