So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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