The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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