Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
