you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
