I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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