Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
