Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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