He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
