sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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