I think i peed on brittanys purse
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
