go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
