ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
