Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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