New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
