if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
