So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
