Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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