also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
