Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
