She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
