: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
