I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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