Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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