I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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