ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
