i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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