There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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