yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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