Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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