pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
