Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
