i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
