Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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