you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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