Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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