He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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