Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
