There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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