you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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