I'm really into asian looking animals
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
