Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
