you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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