...so i touched it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
