Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
