On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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