I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
