I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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