in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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