dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
